That's really well written. The only real problems I had with it were ;
They said they were going to make me one of them, like it was some great honor. That’s how it started. They told me I was going to join them. Not ask. Not suggest or request. It was an order. And right then, I knew what kind of people I was dealing with. The Animorphs liked to play soldier and pretend they were an army. And now they had someone new to give orders to.
You spelt honor wrong ; it should be honour. And.....
Maybe I could have lived with their hypocrisy if it had just been that one thing. But that wasn’t it at all. They made fun of me. I know that doesn’t sound bad; it sounds like I’m some kid complaining to a teacher at school. But you have to understand: they mocked me, after they stole my life from me. They made jokes at my expense after they destroyed my house and kidnapped me. They made fun of me because my parents were Controllers now and I couldn’t show my face without every Yeerk in town trying to tear it off. They laughed at me. And when I said anything in my defense, their ‘leader’, Jake, silenced me. He let his friends insult me all they wanted, but if I dared to say anything back…
Defense is spelt defence. But apart from that, it was very good. I had no problems with it.
Will David be saying all of this? Like a narrator for the first little scene?